LOM13

Helen: Well it really is time that we discuss our little ... situation.
Ned: Indeed. Indeed.
Helen: Well it really is most unfortunate that our littole feathered student should have attracted the notice of the news media. I really rather wish we could have kept this under wraps.
Ned: Well it's been three months now that they've been clamoring for a televised appearance. Meaning is quite popular in the tabloids you know. I don't see how we can put it off for much longer.
Helen: Then there is the question of the legality of the entire thing ... while the law allows for eccentricity when it comes to wills, the government through it's Department of Education can't quite fit this into their little drop-down lists. They're insisting that we remove Meaning from the student roll and that he shouldn't have a student number and library access and so on ... I mean really I can see their point but why can't they just leave us alone?
Ned: Sighs. Why indeed. Well, we rely on the taxpayer and this particular taxpayer just happened to have a great deal of misplaced generosity so actually the goverment shouldn't be sticking it's nose into our affairs.
Helen: Exactly. By the way, how's your new BMW?
Ned: Drives like a dream. And speaking of by the ways, Helen, I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but you really are looking years younger.
Helen: blushes in a maidenly fashion: Oh I've had some discreet work done. It's not a good idea to go to extremes of course but really the medical science of beauty has progressed remarkably. Now if you promise not to take offense I could really recommend to you the absolute specialist in hairplugs.
Ned self consciously touches his hair: They look so silly for the first few months though.
Helen: Oh for goodness' sake mam, take a sabbatical ... you'll have to fly to the States to have it done of course so you might as well take a bit of a holiday ... get a suntan, come back looking like a new man.
Ned: Well yes I must say you do give good advice as to how to spend our new little fortune.
Helen: That's because philosophy is fundamentally concerned with happiness.
Ned: It is?
Helen: Well, if you take Aristotle as your guide to point of life is eudamonia, the finding of happiness.
Ned: I though you bunch were a lot less material.
Helen: Oh no no no ... we're very material indeed these days. You might say that since we are living in a material world, ours is a material discipline.
Ned: But what about social justice and so on. Shouldn't I be feeling guilty about spending a fortune on ... pardon your own decisions in this regard ... physical vanity while millions can't keep body and soul together?
Helen: Well I shall put it to you this way Professor Denver: it is not the work of philosophy to prescribe to you what to do. I can merely lay out the decisions and their consequences before you and let your own conscience choose it's own best path. After all there are no correct decisions. The consequence of your having hair plugs implanted in order to give you the appearance, if not the actual fact, of youth shall be, given your nature as a human being, an increase in your self-confidence due to changed perceptions of others, who will treat you with greater respect. Gone are the days of unattractive Professors with silly goatee's and beret's to hide their bald spots. In the modern world we must compete and, human nature being what it is, your research papers are more apt to get a positive response at a conference if you look younger and healthier. Thus your research will caryy more weight and change the world more. However, if you donate the money Meaning is given us to some other cause, that will actually truly be a material cause and not an intellectual one. What is the sense in keeping alive those who could not possibly contribute to humanities body of knowledge? I know I sound harsh but it is the job of philosophy to tell the honest truth.
Ned: So, you're saying that a new head of hair will do more good than donating to Habitat for Humanity?
Helen: I know it's contra-intuitive but then so much true wisdom is, isn't it.
Ned: You certainly know how to talk in circles ... I can't shake the feeling that if I analyzed your words more carefully when sober I'd see the flaw in your logic.
Helen: I welcome you to do so but I assure you the principles are sound.
Ned: Well ... I'll think about it. Now as to Meaning's upcoming television appearance. I do think we should ask the students to have him prepare a little demonsr\tration to us of his abilties to quite and to cite and so on. We wouldn't want to look like asses on National breakfast TV.
Helen: We certainly wouldn't. More wine?